Monday, August 15, 2011

Motherhood Monday #1

As I mentioned in this post our family has undergone some serious overhauling the last seven months.
Everything from scheduling working hours for my husband to restructuring how our family runs to making workout time for me in the mornings a number one priority.
You see my husband works from home and it was quite an adjustment.
I was the supportive house wife trying to adjust to three small children at home, one being a two month old.
I was just trying to keep my head above water and had been for the last year.
My pregnancy hadn't gone well, I was on bed rest for the last two months and she came a month early.
Luckily she was healthy, but I was emotionally and physically exhausted!
My husbands business wasn't where we had thought and our world wasn't centered where it should have been.
In fact, it wasn't centered on anything!
It was crazy at its purest form.
Ironically enough on January 1st 2011 the hubs and I had a serious, it's time to make some changes, "come to Jesus" meeting.
It was hard!
But, who said change is easy?
We set goals and made plans.
Over the last seven months we have grown individually.
As a couple.
As a family.
It hasn't been easy by any stretch of the word. But, we put our heads down and kept working.

Which brings me to why I started reading the book "The 10 Habits of a Happy Mother" Meg Meeker, M.D.
click on picture to read more about the book and review.
The 10 Habits are:
  1. Understand Your Value as a Mother
  2. Maintain Key Friendships
  3. Value and Practice Faith
  4. Say No to Competition
  5. Create a Healthier Relationship with Money
  6. Make Time for Solitude
  7. Give and Get Love in Healthy Ways
  8. Find Ways to Live Simply
  9. Let Go of Fear
  10. Hope Is a Decision--So Make It!
I started reading it last week.
Breezing through the introduction and the first chapter and a half.
Then I realized I wasn't going to get nearly as much out of this book if I just ran through it.
I started over and am STUDYING it!
4.11
The first habit in her book is Understand Your Value as a Mother.

Could you imagine if we all as mothers fully understood our value to our children as their mother?

What would that do to the way we face the day or interacted with our little darlings?
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I love how Dr. Meeker puts it "We would talk differently to our kids, fret less about our husbands' annoying habits, and speak with greater tenderness and clarity. We would find more contentment in our relationships, let mean remarks roll off our backs, and leave work feeling confident in the job we performed. And best of all--we wouldn't abscess about our weight(can you imagine?), physical fitness, or what kind of home we live in. We would live a life free from superficial needs because we would know deep in our hearts what we need and, more importantly, what we don't need.. Each of us would live a life of extraordinary freedom ."
8.11

When I first read that statement I thought to myself there is no way that all of these things would become less important if I understood my value as a mother more fully.

As I thought more about it I realized that I (and most women of our culture) place so much of our value on who has the best dressed, well behaved children, the perfect husband with the best job and most money who always puts the toilet seat down (mine does :P) or the most friends or is in the best shape (especially after having children) and the biggest cleanest home. 

But instead of focusing on all of those things, if I focus on the three things that give me value as a Mother.
1. I am loved
2. I am needed
3. I was born for a higher purpose.
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At this point I can't fully wrap my head around these three values. At least not enough to have all the things Dr. Meeker mentioned above. But, as I have pondered them over the last few days I have an amazing sense of humility that is difficult to explain.

But it does give me a re-newed outlook on life as a Mother.
A refocus on Motherhood I tend to lose sight of in the trenches everyday.

I am so grateful that I am a Mother to my three little darlings.
That I can strive to be better everyday.
For the tools that are in my life and the new ones I am finding which help me be better.
A husband that pushes me to be better everyday
and who is going on this journey with me.
I couldn't pick anyone better to do it with!

Anyone read this book or heard anything about it? I would love to hear your comments.

2 comments:

Jenny said...

sounds like an inspiring reflective read! I am at the point where I could use a few expert tools to push me in the right direction. 2 of my 3 kids are in school all day..so I need to rework my routine, i would love to pick that book up. You are doing an awesome job Court!

Ashley said...

I feel a little silly because I started getting teary eyed while I read this. Especially considering recent circumstances here, I can't imagine NOT having my babies. It is so important to remember our "higher calling" of being a mother. Thanks for sharing!